Loops & Crosses

Renewing charity is ongoing in the life of a Christian. Imperfectly often we edge into it. And somehow God makes good of it.

Loops & Crosses

To give up yourself without regret is the greatest charity.  

—Bodhidharma

The yawn of a white page    endures 

all night not knowing how to begin

a confession    I was wrong    

I am dread

fingering a quill    unease twisting

a wrist toward the finesse of refinement    

the handwritten note    Nerves urging 

a purge of conscience     I grab 

a glass of wine    a promising ferment 

to precede the words 

My Dearest…    

Even forced and sketchy

cursive reflects the soul    an outline

evolves    shorthand in long hand

can hold the bare bones of mea culpa

emerging fast    loose    dangerously

tipsy    This is how a pen

loosens the tongue    Listen

to the nib scritch on vellum

moody

impatient

crossing out then inking in

what should have been    Block printed over

loops of doting words    a mess    all of it

begging for absolution

Signed    me

A smudge    A fingerprint    A giving up

of all I’d thought better of saying

out loud    all that cannot now

be swallowed back    Giving the me

I’m afraid for you to open    me

in your hands with something like love

The featured image, “English Post Pillar,” is courtesy of Lancia E. Smith and is used with her glad permission for Cultivating.

Susan Cowger

Poet and visual artist, Susan attends to image: water, sky, faces, flowers, and birds, oh the birds,
even rocks and pebbles, wherever beauty heals and anoints. Beauty ever provides when life feels
bereft. Susan has traveled to marvelous places worldwide and worked in Kenya with Spring of
Hope International. Now Susan and husband Dana live in Spokane WA. Married 47 years, they
have four children and 22 grandchildren (and yes, she finds that number rather shocking too).

susancowger.com