Cultivating Fatherhood is a space made for the dads among us who love their kids and yet know that the adventure of parenting, with all its joys and beauty, can also be a perilous one. Make no mistake, showing up for your kids is beautiful, rewarding, hard, holy, brave work. My efforts are here intended to provide encouragement and understanding that equips us for our responsibility to the amazing beings who call us “dad.”
The dripping of a faucet is a sound of grace. The water balloons our children fill from the spigot outside are bursting with the substance all life requires to exist. Modern civilization is made possible by what our children float duckies and toy boats in as they play in soapy bathwater. A drink of safe, clean, cool water on a hot day and the washing of muddy hands after play is an amenity richer than what King Solomon could dream of. And the flushing of a toilet is a sound of mercy, saving lives by providing humanity the historically unforeseen way to sanitize and eradicate waste.
Indoor plumbing is miraculous, yet the water does not flow from our faucets by magic. Every time I receive the gift of cold running water pouring into my glass, into my hands, or into the sink, it is the result of the diligent work of the fine men and women of my local Public Works department. Those working in water resources extract raw water from reservoirs and rivers, then, using pumps and pipes, they wrangle said water across mountains. Water treatment staff then purify it through the local filtration plant, removing impurities and dangerous elements before pumping the clean, cool, drinkable water on through the distribution system, a network of tanks and pipes that services our neighborhood.
The work of a public servant is meant to be just that—to provide reliable service to the public … a public of very differing beliefs, ideologies, political leanings, cultures and creeds, etc. There should be no loyalty oath or intelligence test to receive water from the faucet. You don’t swear undying fidelity to the mayor, nor do you kiss the ring of the Public Works director. As God “sends the rain on the just and the unjust” (Matthew 5:45b ESV), so water comes to each household within their service area (barring any unavoidable interruptions in service and if they are current on their utility bills).
My father-in-law retired earlier this year, having spent much of his career as a water treatment operator. Often working the late shift, he ensured that any child who needed a drink of water before going to bed, or any house fire that needed extinguishing in the night would have the necessary water to quench both thirst and flame. At his retirement party his coworkers and family celebrated his tenure, but the residents he served would never know how much he did for them during the decades of his service. In Matthew 10:42, Jesus says,
“And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward” (ESV).
My father-in-law would want you to know that he was part of a team and didn’t do it all by himself, but I still find it fitting to celebrate within the context of this verse that he is a man who loves Jesus and that his work helped to provide a whole lot of water to a whole lot of cups. In addition to that, hundreds of thousands of toilets flushed daily, gardens were watered, baths were taken, squirt-gun fights were had in the front yard under sprinklers, and a host of other uses were made possible by this overlooked but incredibly vital labor.
As fathers, we know what it means to serve and sacrifice for our children in ways they will not recognize or fully appreciate. In fact, sometimes our efforts are noticed more when they fall short, when there’s an “unavoidable interruption in service.” And in our fallen human state we can selfishly begin to question sometimes whether their behavior “deserves it.” But when we remember what God did for us “while we were yet sinners” (Romans 5:8 KJV), and when we remember that we likely would not exist were it not for someone choosing to care and provide for us in some even imperfect capacity, even when we didn’t “deserve it,” we are given strength to love—and love more like God loves us. No earthly fathering will be flawless, but we strive to be present not “if” they need us, but when.
During the Feast of Booths, Jesus stands up and declares:
“If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water’” (John 7:37b-38 ESV).
We as fathers are called to show up for our children, to be a faithful presence in their lives, whether our children ever fully acknowledge this or not. And we as followers of Christ are called to fill ourselves with the source of “living water” so that this living water pours forth from our hearts to their hearts too.
The featured image, “No Man is an Island,” is courtesy of Sam Keyes and is used with his kind permission for Cultivating.
Adam Nettesheim is Director of Fellowship for The Cultivating Project, and a columnist for Cultivating magazine. Through writing and illustrating, Adam seeks to pull on the golden thread that leads us Homeward. Adam is a ‘Multi-Media Specialist’ by day at a municipality in Colorado but his most important (and favorite) work is husband to his wife Sarah and father to his 3 children.
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