A Mother

Conceiving children did not happen with ease

But I knew in my bones a mother I would be

The days bled into weeks and years

My pillow often soaked with tears

Test after test proved my worst fear

My womb—empty with no baby here

My heart cracked open when I learned of the plight

Of children in my own backyard

With not an advocate in sight

We don’t have the same skin, hair, or eyes

Regardless, there are five children who I know are mine

The trauma and sorrow of life wore them down

While the torrents of abuse nearly caused them to drown

Some in our home for months, some for years

And this is what I know and hold dear

A mother is not only made through biology

A mother is made through supernatural love and

A heart unafraid to grieve

Arms to embrace a hurting child

Gentle hands to love

Not cause harm and denial

Eyes to see the light in the darkness

Feet that pursue even when it’s the hardest

Lips to utter the hardest truths

Ears to listen, not appear aloof

The love of a Father who ordained all my days

Breathes life into weary bones 

And grants grace upon grace

I am poured out and exhausted of all my strength

He meets me here and gives me a drink

The Living Water supplies all my needs

While He says to these children, “I am Who You seek.”

When I am unable to take another step

He walks beside me and says,

“Just rest.”

Because in my mothering, I embody the love

Of a God Who says, “I am always enough.”

The featured image, “Plate of Pears,” is courtesy of Lancia E. Smith and is used with her glad permission for Cultivating.

Jessica Mathisen

Jessica Mathisen lives just outside of Atlanta, Georgia with her husband and three kids (two through biology and one through adoption). She is a former elementary school teacher and a lover of people. As a writer, speaker, podcaster, and coach, her passion is to communicate God’s love to others through words and relationships. Her most favorite things are hanging with her family, eating chips and salsa, and reading good books. You can learn more about her at www.jessicanmathisen.com, read her latest book, An Overwhelming Hope, listen to her podcast, The Fullness of Joy, and follow her on Instagram.

www.jessicanmathisen.com