“Woe to the one who argues with his Maker.”
—Isaiah 45.9 CSB
Some translations render “argues” as “strives” in Isaiah 45.9. Woe to the one who strives with God, who attempts to wrestle out a negotiation. Ha! Is another translation for woe.
I don’t think I would presume to argue with God. I have a healthy fear of the Lord, and of being wrong, and I can look at something as mundane as a rock and understand that the God who created it is far far above me. But I read the scriptures and see that complaints against God seem to be the status quo for wise men of old—David, Asaph, Ethan, Job. They didn’t get thrown out of the canon just because they complained.
In Psalm 89, Ethan the Ezrahite, whose wisdom is compared to Solomon’s, gives a long list of the promises God has made to His people, to give them His presence and establish the throne of David for the protection of His people. It’s all praise and glory for the first 37 verses.
And then a sudden turn:
“But You have cast off and abhorred, You have been furious with Your anointed. You have renounced the covenant of your servant; You have profaned his crown by casting it to the ground.” (Psalm 89.38-39 NKJV)
Ethan was looking at the state of Israel and comparing it to the promises God had made, and things didn’t line up. God appeared angry. The nation and its king were ridiculed and their foes were rejoicing.
I don’t outright argue with God, but I have raged unanswered questions into what felt like the void a time or two. Why and how; why not and but you said. If You say You desire one thing but then You allow another thing to happen, what am I supposed to think? There have been times in my walk with the Lord that felt like I was being punked, like the joke was on me and yes there is a God and He laughs at my expense, or has deaf ears to my prayers, or preserves His word just so I can spend my life untangling its knots.
Ha! To the one who strives to make God explain.
Ha! To the person who wants everything nicely lined up.
When I don’t know what to pray, or when I have been so overwhelmed with grief or confusion or frozen with indecision, who knows how the Spirit has interpreted those times? I want to dress my prayers up in pretty language so as not to offend God—or god as the case would be with such a fragile deity, as if I had the power to make God blush or rethink Himself. I want to say the acceptable thing, even to God, even when I believe He knows what I really think. But the Spirit interprets honestly. God knows what I really feel and I am the one who should blush.
Ha.
Yes, there appear to be inconsistencies. Ethan calls them out by declaring God’s faithfulness to His covenant in one verse (v.28) and then accusing Him of renouncing His covenant a few breaths later (v.39).
We have small, unutilized brains, I tell myself. We see the present only, so these things look like inconsistencies. We don’t know the means that get us to the end God has declared. It’s a little comfort, but sometimes it feels like I am gaslighting myself. I have to explain the inconsistencies and know the fault is mine—not God’s, not His word. I know I believe in God’s ultimate goodness and truth. When I zoom out from my own life and see the scope of all my years, the trajectory is towards a faithful God who keeps His word. I know this. God is good and He cannot lie or break His word. The misunderstanding is mine.
But still, I want to understand and that sometimes feels like striving. I am negotiating for an answer I can comprehend.
Yes, You are a God who hides,
God of Israel, Savior.
(Isaiah 45.15 CSB)
Ha.
Leadership training encourages the “praise sandwich” approach to criticism, using the human desire for praise and affirmation to couch some negative feedback in positive terms the hearer can receive. Say something nice and true. Deliver the critique or bad news. End with something encouraging. This feels condescending, but we see it in Psalm 89. Many psalms of lament go from complaint to praise, but Ethan the Ezrahite begins with the truth of God’s goodness and praises Him, then leans in hard with his lament of the injustices he perceives God has dealt, then ends with praise. It’s as though he’s applying pressure, publicly reminding God and the nation of His promises.
Charles Spurgeon said this of Ethan and Psalm 89:
“He ends where he began; he has sailed round the world and reached port again. Let us bless God before we pray, and while we pray, and when we have done praying, for he always deserves it of us. If we cannot understand him, we will not distrust him.” [1]
I want the understanding first. I want a map, and when I try to use God’s Word in that way, like a detailed street map with step by step turns and warnings of what’s ahead, I am repeatedly disappointed. I understand why Peter whipped out his sword when the mob came to arrest Jesus in the garden, because surely this is not part of the plan. And Jesus gives the response that cuts and heals: “Or do you think that I cannot now pray to My Father, and He will provide Me with more than twelve legions of angels?”
“Do you think that I cannot?”
“If you fully understand it,” Augustine said, “then it can’t be God.” [2]
We are praying for direction right now and I get so frustrated at times with the waiting, with thinking we know something and then finding it’s a dead end. It feels like trying to back a big truck out of a compact parking spot and repeatedly shifting from reverse to drive, reverse to drive, turn a little, turn a little, reverse, then drive. We have to be patient, and patience is the worst. I would rather be right and efficient.
If I only trust God as far as I can understand Him, I will have swords and answers ready. I will make quick decisions out of a desire to just be done with the waiting. But I want to trust God more than that. I want to trust that He is better than I can imagine, a mystery I will not solve but one I am called to continue to pursue.
God answers Isaiah’s claim that He is a God who hides:
“I have not spoken in secret,
somewhere in a land of darkness.
I did not say to the descendants of Jacob:
Seek me in a wasteland.
I am the LORD, Who speaks righteously,
Who declares what is right.”
(Isaiah 45.19 CSB)
God calls me to seek Him in the place I am right now, to abide in Him, and that is different from seeking answers from Him about the next place I should go. I am here, being faithful. God is here, being faithful. I do not seek Him in a wasteland and even though I would like a word with Him about the way some things have worked out, I trust this mystery is not about keeping secrets.
[1] Charles Spurgeon from his commentary on the Psalms, The Treasury of David
[2] Saint Augustine of Hippo from his Sermon 117, Chapter 3, Section 5
Editor’s note: The Christian Standard Bible translation does not capitalize pronouns referring to God; these have been added by Cultivating editors.
The featured image, “Cotswold Window and Roses,” is courtesy of Lancia E. Smith and is used with her glad permission for Cultivating.
Tresta Payne learned to appreciate the beauty of God from the landscape of the Pacific Northwest, where she lives with her husband and four children. She builds her own MFA in creative writing through homeschooling her children and tutoring others, finding every excuse to learn and read and grow. After twenty years of homeschooling she is ready for someone to hand her that degree. She enjoys a good, deep discussion with a balance of differing opinions, and works out her own thoughts in writing. Tresta walks a lot on the wild country roads around her home, with her dog and her thoughts and the nearness of God to keep her company.
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