Fortis–Strength in the Yield

One Woman’s Strong Stance

Though I still struggle to articulate it smoothly, Ayaan Hirsi-Ali’s name has stuck in my mind. The penetrating gaze of the face that I first encountered on her 2007 autobiography, Infidel: My Life, was just as indelible as her unfolding life-story. With facial features and form fine enough to be a supermodel, she presented more importantly as tough and mentally sharp to the point of being admiringly described by the late, famed atheist, Christopher Hitchens, as ‘a determined woman who had changed more history than her own.’ [1]      

Her unrelenting, life-endangering involvement in the political scene of Holland, in championing the cause of Muslim women, caused me to add visiting the Netherlands to my wish-list. Just as when I stood in the giant replica of Martin Luther’s shoes marking the spot of his epoch-shifting stand in the city of Worms, I anticipated that walking in some of the places of this woman’s strong stance would instill some rebar in my typically gelatinous spine. My native culture’s affinity for triumph over seeming insurmountable odds earmarked Ayaan Hirsi-Ali as an icon of fortitude in my mind. 

Strong In Root And Fruit 

Our colloquial Jamaican motto, ‘Wi likkle but wi tallawah!’—loosely translated, ‘Our small size belies the strong fight in us!” seemed to fit Hirsi Ali too. Rooted in the Latin ‘fortis,’ fortitude denotes ‘that strength or firmness of mind or soul which enables a person to encounter danger with coolness and courage, or to bear pain or adversity without murmuring, depression or despondency.’ Though never having taken Latin in school, I recognized ‘fortis,’ since Latin school mottos were part of the Jamaican British Colonial legacy. Kingston College boys’ high school (KC), alma mater to the men in my immediate family of origin, boasted the motto, ‘Fortis cadere, cedere non potest!’—‘The brave (strong) may fall but never yield!’ And they lived up to it, being repeat champions in a field of some of the best soccer players islandwide. Next to KC’s, my girls’ high school motto, ‘Age Quod Agis’—‘Do (what is set before you) to your best” or “Do it with thy might’—seemed a little wimpy; their stopping at nothing but victory is what fueled our admiration for KC over our own male counterparts across the fence. An indomitable, unconquerable spirit like Ayaan’s seemed a worthy goal at any age. Or was it? How is the fruit called fortitude formed in the Christian soul and is it about dominating?

Reflecting on fortitude one morning, my eyes rested on the words of 2 Peter 1:3–8, which I had pinned up for memorization at frequented spots around the house. ‘…add to your faith virtue, and to virtue knowledge, and to knowledge perseverance, and to perseverance self-control, and to self-control godliness, and to godliness brotherly-kindness and to brotherly-kindness love,…’ 

To what is fortitude’s grit anchored in Peter’s challenge to the severely persecuted New Testament believers? Was it a special spiritual imbuement? What was the basis of Hirsi Ali’s seeming fortitude as she grew from a strident supporter of the Muslim Brotherhood, to an ardent atheist, then a zealous Muslim dissident? Was hers a non-negotiable from the heights of lineage or uncommon physicality, such as that which her grandmother was determined to ingrain into her from five years old? Even the young football players of Kingston College had to anchor their determination to never yield to something. In each instance suffering seemed integral; but something still seemed lacking. If it were mere suffering that produced fortitude, our world would be overrun by heroes. 

Forged in the Fires?

We naturally respect athletes for their willingness to endure hard training and discipline, denying the body its comforts and pushing it sometimes to breaking, aiming for the Olympics! Hirsi Ali definitely suffered from early-on, as a five-year-old being subjected to female genital mutilation and grueling memorization under threat of whipping. As a young adult, rather than submit to an unwanted arranged marriage, she fled to asylum and citizenship in the Netherlands. Zeal for a mission born of her own pain soon won her a seat in that nation’s parliament and motivated production of a film about the suffering of Muslim women rendered powerless and voiceless by their holy book’s requirement of total submission. 

This last strike against oppression, however, unleashed suffering of another caliber entirely, forcing Hirsi Ali into hiding and high-level government security, when her partner in the film’s production was brutally murdered and a note threatening her left behind on the body. The association of that atrocity with her religion and its holy book, and later that of America’s 9/11, drove Hirsi-Ali to atheism. Nevertheless, she continued the fight for her core convictions at each phase of her life, speaking, debating and writing about humanity and freedom; refusing to yield. Even as I compared my spine to Hirsi Ali’s disparagingly, tempted to bow before strength like hers as the goal, grace was about to shine His light on my path. I began to question whether what I sought in these examples was the Christian pursuit after all. 

When Strength’s Anchor Slips and Yields

“I’m fighting a battle He’s already won!” rang the chorus of a new song at church; the point of view of God’s upside-down Kingdom in those words broke through mere days later, when I stumbled on a podcast discussion between famed ‘New Atheist’ Professor Richard Dawkins and a freshly-converted-to-Christianity Ayaan Hirsi Ali. [2] In demure, even halting tone, she articulated her simple testimony of how, for ten years prior, her commitment to scientific-materialism had left her depressed and despondent. My icon of fortitude no longer fit the dictionary definition! Though safely settled in 2023 USA, comfortably married and the mother of two sons, Ayaan had found herself searching the medical system, unsuccessfully, for help. She had resorted to self-medicating methods, hopeless and in despair, but lacking the courage to stage the death for which she now longed. 

A new counselor pointed to a different path; diagnosing Ayaan’s condition as ‘spiritual bankruptcy,’ she recommended prayer. Ayaan made a choice to follow through and, on her knees, had a life-altering encounter which restored her zest for life! The experience and subsequent journey have convinced her that not only is ‘Something there’, (counter to the ‘nothing’ which her erstwhile ‘New Atheist’ mentors still espouse), but also that ‘Something’ is the God of Christians. Ayaan’s vulnerable and humble presentation of her new-found faith stood in stark yet beautiful irony, contrasted with her famed life-long fight against the Islamist demand of submission. Here she was, gladly yielding, only this time, to a faith that spoke love above all else. The strong had willingly fallen on the Rock and, finding herself in Love’s embrace, had gladly yielded. (Matt. 21:44 NKJV) 

The early Church earned its reputation of having turned the world upside-down, not merely through suffering, but while in the midst of suffering following the Lord Himself, “who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously.” (1Peter‬ 2:23 NKJV)

Unfazed by Dawkins’ incredulity, and the applause of the section of the audience which cheered his condescending attitude, Ayaan embodied fortitude, advocating humility to God as the way forward, both personally and for the youth on today’s college campuses misguided by the atheism which she had once espoused alongside Hitchens and Dawkins. 

Dawkins’ genuine perplexity at the phenomenon before him was evident in his subconscious rubbing of the thumb and forefinger of his left hand together, as he questioned Ayaan and belittled core Christian beliefs like the virgin birth and the resurrection of Jesus. He swore in disgust and disbelief concerning his protege’s conversion until denying its authenticity proved futile, in the face of her humble fortitude. 

I felt the shift in me also, as I registered the ground on which this strength is found. Not in grit and fight and ‘tallawah’, but in yielding to the love freely offered by the all-powerful God who Himself condescended, willingly suffered, and died, setting His rebellious creation free. With renewed vigor I changed my approach to Scripture memorization—no longer bent on a memorization triumph but on yielding to divine love until His strength is made perfect in my weakness. (2 Cor.12:9, NKJV) 

[1] The Sunday Times 

[2] https://unherd.com/2023/11/why-i-am-now-a-christian/

The featured image, “Tree Of Life,” is courtesy of Ariel Lovewell and is used with her kind permission for Cultivating.

Denise Stair-Armstrong

I am Denise Stair Armstrong; born and raised Jamaican. I received all my formal academic education in the land of my birth at Shortwood Teachers’ College and the University of the West Indies, specializing in English Language & Literatures in English. The remainder I’ve gained home educating our three wonderful children – Joseph, Charis and Timothy, parenting them with my husband Claude, and in caring for my wheel-chair bound mother. I enjoy reading, cooking, gardening, theatre and ballroom dancing with Claude (only!) and digging into the Word of God.

My passion is worship expressed primarily through writing inspirational pieces that urge readers not to miss how much the Lord has “cramm’d earth with heaven”. My heart is to encourage them to traverse the gap between all our hearts and the cultures that shape them, via the Bridge that is Calvary’s cross.

denisesarmstrong.com